MyNameIsJoeyDahlia

An ode to Joey

Joey Dahlia is a hero
A master sweeping and tapping
I am a useless zero
When I play there's nobody clapping
To be like him, I'd give my right arm
Oh how I'd love to play like that
To have his skill and wonderful charm
Oh well, at least I'm not a twat

Joey... sort your head out dude.

The guy is delusional, and absolutely clueless. But he's funny as all hell in that ignorant bliss.

I browsed your website today, and oh boy... You have a fantastic imagination! I have to ask you joey, why do you give yourself such bad reputation? Did you intend to get this status? The way i see it, your head is so far up your ass, that you can't see how stupid you are looking. If you did happen to become a 'intermediate' guitarist(from what i've heard not fuckin likely), you would still get bad feedback because of your stupid attitude. I have some advice, take it or leave it!

1. Get a GUITAR, that washburn piece of shit brings no justice to ANY type of music. Even yours! Ask mommy for some pocket money for a fender!
2. Throw out your pod xt, and it's shitty quality patches, and buy yourself a nice boss distortion pedal,delay,wah would be great too.
3. Don't be over confident, it does the opposite over time.
4. Your vibrato technique is truly horrible. So you use a metronome to speed up your vibrato eh? How about learning how to do vibrato in the first place.
5. Don't try and make out your better than yngwie ok? Just don't even try my patzer friend!
6. Your family is ugly, so stop taking pictures of them, gods sake look like a friggen group of monkeys!
7. If you can't do any of the above, stick to the boxing bag, and sell the shitty gear to ebay, you could make 5 bucks.
8. Get every song that you have made, and throw it in a fire place. You will make friends then!

Who knows, maybe if you follow at least 1 of these rules, you could be less of a retard! Well, i better go... Got a gig tonight, going to play some autumn leaves, some pat metheny... Never mind, you only like wank shredders. Bye

He,s funny and just winds people up, i know everyone hates him but i think hes got a good strange humor, i dont thinks he,s really like that

Bewildering! Must go to the light now! Absolutely brilliant! I have to say, this is by far the most unique artist I've experienced to date. The Phoenix , Melbourne

As I noted in the other thread this guy is a legend on internet guitar forums across the globe. Everyone thinks he's a troll at first but he *never* seems to "drop out of character"... So either he's a really skilled troll or a genuine space cadet

The problem is you have guitar jock syndrome with flaming New Ageitis while being a mental case and a theif. That equals = Piece of Shit! you have no musical creativity, NONE! your tone is stupid and im not talking about digital/ss vs analog. Maybe some day youll get it and stop being a total POS but i highly doubt because at your age you should have figured it out by now. Go have another donut lard ass.

Now thats a great tone Joey and a very fresh execution...as deserved a rep. point for this

I loved it Joey excellent tone I am so glad you are posting stuff like this thanks and a rep point from me !

Nice one Joey! Very well done. I love the riffs. They were unique and fresh as well as a nice tone.

And now we have the stupidest fucking post in the this forums history AGAIN from this guy, who doesn't understand either the physics of his stupid worthless voodoo cable or of equalization. Great.

First off, nice setup. What's the axe you are using? The song is awesome. I like the sound and your use of the different intervals within the scales sounds great Great stuff! KFC*

Joey, Instead of spending your time gathering lots of gear, why don't you use it more fruitfully by practicing the guitar, or better yet having lessons!

This guy is a muppet and thrives on attention...we shouldn't give him any more it just makes things worse.

I think Joey has worked his way through every forum on this planet and when people cotton on who he is it's time for bannin !!
Yes Joey has had more forum ass woopins than you can imagine he really is a sad old git who is totally centered around himself it is indeed the gospel according to Dahlia!
Can you imagine talking to him it would just be a one way conversation I really don't think he has many friends he must be the local Billy no mates!

*Very dreamy and relaxing if I do say so myself. Very impressive Joey * Belgmorris*

omg this is lame boring crapola. your music is dull and lifeless. Give up guitar, get a treadmill and work off some of the 200+ lbs of extra weight you have on your body. Lard Ass

I bet....if I got really really drunk.....and then tuned to some key in my drunken state.....I could play a more tasteful solo than that

rhythm track...kind of creeps along beneath the surface like a stalker...very cool...good work...respect...mario

Did you check out the Joey Dahlia website? You can't be any less competitive when it comes to guitar than I am, but I found his video clips to be hilarious

Joey i wasn't making fun of your gay son. there's nothing wrong with being gay, you should accept your son for who he is

I was speaking to a mate of mine on the phone this afternoon, his name is Eddie and he used to be in a rock band who were quite big in America. He told me that he owes everything he knows to Joey Dahlia and has studied his teaching techniques for many years. In fact he feels so indebted to Joey that he wrote this song for him. It's not in his usual style as he usually plays almost as fast as Joey, but he said he hoped everyone would enjoy it

he is a legend dahlia had been the guy as far back as i can remember but he is an asshole stuck in the past

Very cool man. Nice heavy/dark vibe. I can't think of anything to dis about it. Everything is where it's suppose to be and sound like. Killer!...... :)

Joey,

I think your problem is that you have abandoned the shred licks that made you the man you are today. This is the same stuff you've been playing for us for the last 7 (2) years. I've been asking you for 6 of those, to quit messing around and tear that thing up. Let's hear some real shredding. You can do it. That is what we all really want to hear from you.

Come on. Quit messing around. Show us what you've got!

whoever posted the reviews that Joey did? that proves how far up his own ass this guy is. we're not talking an innocent kid or a good player who happened to get made fun of. this guy thinks he's king of the world and knows everything about gear.

Joey Dahlia is the biggest idiot to the guitar world on internet he must of been banned of every guitar forum!!
This is brilliant I laughed so much Dahlia just doesn't get it he is an absolute looser !!

Yep he is well known everywhere he really is a tiresome beast isn't he with his ostinatos!
By the way did you know what an ostinato is because I don't think Joey does ostinatos is basically any clear melodic or rhythmic pattern that is repeated persistently.
Ostinato is an Italian word translated (stubborn) it seems to sum up Joey!

Well if you ask me...the inspector clouseau in me says with all teh gear yuo see in his room in photos and videos I would say he is clever and acting like a dork for attention...he must generate money somehow to pay for the things he has...it certainly ain't a paycheck from Berklee so i am guesing he does something else to pay the taxman

Absolutely beautiful song. It's very rare I actually download a song to "keep", but this one is being added to my library. Great work! Joey shows he has more than just arpeggios and speed picking going on!

I listen to a little of the clips Kage posted. The guy sounded like he was trying to share a little. Yes, it wasn't the great but it wasn't all that bad either. I'm sure there players here that could learn something from him. Say what you want about him, the guy seems to be dedicated. I skipped over the rest of his clips and I"m not interested in his website or making fun of him. I actually feel sorry for him if he has been following what's going on here.

You know what I'm getting tired of? People who take this too seriously. Rag on me all you want, I could care less. I look at it this way: if you have the balls to post something like that on a website for the world to see, you can take the heat. I just find the whole Joey thing idiotic, although it did give me a good laugh. Nothing wrong with providing lessons to others, but the guy comes off as being an ass, plain and simple. He's a competent (take the meaning of this word in whichever way you want) guitarist, but that's it, no better nor worse than anyone else. From what I've seen on Joey's site, the guy has a serious ego problem. As for your ragging of my playing and your claim that those dissing Joey are probably the biggest losers, I'd love to be able to post clips on HC like everyone else, but I don't have the means. Some might get a laugh out of my playing, some might not. I might not be Joey's "caliber", but I don't care to be either. Do I go around saying what I do is better than anything else (like he's done on other forums)? No.

I feel bad for Joey not being here to speak up for himself either. I'd like to see it. What's he gonna say? There are plenty of guys on here who'll hand him his ass by playing circles around him, and are much more humble about their abilities.

As for my "Terje fixation", as you kindly put it, notice that you brought up Terje, I didn't. Get over it, Everyone around here brings up Terje every once in a while (do a search and you'll see what I mean). He's made his bed by posting some of the most idiotic, irrelevant, condescending stuff imaginable, and it comes with the territory that some people will use him as an example (especially when bringing up the subject of volume). Live and let live.

I have a theory.

Joey is a piece of shit....not worthy of the attention he gets on this forum.

I have another theory.

Joey is to music what Sanjia Malakar was to American Idol.....for those of you that don't know....the answer would be a fucking joke.

I have one more theory. It is regrettable that Joey wasn't in the twin towers on Sept. 11th. Then this place would be.....better.

This is beautiful!!! The guitar work on this is great and a nice feel to the song!! I like it man! Peace

you have to hand it to him, he's controversial and all the search engines will spider this thread eventually and add it to the ever growing list

OK got to page 9 my head is numb and i am forgetting my ostianto practice tonight but hell this is rivitting stuff like a good book you can put down... I am truly disturbed now by what i read...the guy is a raving fruitbasket that needs to be stopped . I don't believe for one minute that family in his website are his...no pics of him next to them!!!!! no pics of him and wife who we now know is Sharon hahahaha (eek)....I am confused what to eat for my dinner now....water or salt? what is going to make me bench press my guitar at 34? do i want to be a guitar player of the future 2050 that will shred the hell out of the Joey of today? hell i don't want just bench press my guitar i am going to bench press my JSX cabinet when it arrives i reckon a 24 multipack of crisps will have enough sodium and the River Tay provide me witrh enough water to manage this feat.....these are questions that need to be answer>>>>I'll be back once Sharon Dahlia has answer them cya soon

Hey Joe I have just listened to your latest masterpiece and to be honest with you, I switched off 30 secs into it, why you may ask, and I will tell you. It sounded like someone scratching their nails down a blackboard it made me shiver and cringe, it was like the tin man jerking off to tin man porn, please go away you make me want to kill myself.

singing notes, oh yeah!!I like your tone, reminds me of Uli Jon Roth and Helge Engelke.

Actually, http://joeydahlia.com/

Pretty busy website, you rule man!